Well being is possible no matter who you are, where you are, or what holiday is about to crash down around us. Since Thanksgiving is here and Christmas is nigh, it’s time to put strategies in place for moving through these experiences well. 2020 has been an especially odd year and depending on your...
Not everyone who grew older grew up, but you can. Being “grown up” is an accumulation of skills, habits, and character traits. Some people get there faster and more easily than others, but no worries, this isn’t a race. We do, however, progress more swiftly if we look to do our personal best as...
Good character is built by being honest, kind, fair, and brave simultaneously. If your character isn’t as grand as you’d like, maybe you have a wrong desire embedded in your heart. These are four desires that commonly derail our good character choices: The desire to be liked The desire to have the most The...
Can having good character be simple? For 35 years it was my business to build or rebuild the good character of my students. For the last 17 years of that time I was the principal of a school and had the deciding power of exactly how my staff and I would do that. But...
“Always Do Your Best” is a deed-based agreement. The previous three agreements of The Four Agreements showed us how to: Take control over our words, voiced and thought (Be Impeccable with Your Word) Detangle ourselves from the words and actions of others that previously triggered us (Don’t Take Anything Personally) Ask for and provide...
Whether we are a Pollyanna or a seasoned pessimist, our assumptions often work against us. Rather than Make No Assumptions, a better description for this third of the Four Agreements might be “Assume Repeatedly, but Never Act on an Assumption Without Further Investigation and/or Clarification”. In the animal kingdom we are vulnerable creatures, and...
The Saga of Domestication We came into this world without words, only senses and intense needs. From these, we formed mild to strong opinions, which were expressed with facial expressions and body language. We smiled or howled, reached out or withdrew. Our vulnerable being was entrusted to the care of grown people who had...
The following post is this blog author’s musings on Don Miguel Ruiz’s First Agreement- “I am Impeccable with my Word”, as detailed in Ruiz’s book The Four Agreements . “Sticks and Stones may break my bones, But words will never hurt me.” What is your reaction to this childhood rhyme? I remember all too...
The quality of our human relationships are impacted all the live long day, for good or ill, by the presence or absence of four simple, yet deeply impacting, agreements that were introduced to the world by Don Miguel Ruiz in his book, The Four Agreements. Be Impeccable with Your Word. Don’t Take Anything Personally....
Have you ever thought “I could just kick myself!” in response to your behavior under stress? If that question made you wince or laugh in recognition, you were probably, at that time, in the midst of what I’m calling a “Wild Thing” reaction. In Jane Nelsen’s especially relevant book, Positive Discipline, she refers to...