If you are on a quest to become emotionally peaceful you are about to have an amazing adventure. I started such a journey ages and ages ago and I’m still enjoying the view as I walk this path.
I am by nature a seeker. When I was 16, I had a strangely clear glimpse of myself one evening and realized- with terror- that my inside self didn’t match my outside persona. I prayed for a fresh start and it made my head spin how fast I received my answer. At 20, as a young teacher, I wrote three words on a piece of tablet writing paper and taped it to the drawer of my desk where only I could see it. These were characteristics I wanted to embody: “Humble, Patient, and Kind”. I am now often referred to with one or more of these words. Many times, when I hear one of them uttered in regard to me, I remember my starting point, when only the desire for these attributes dwelled within me.
I recall the long, long season when I struggled to overcome my pervasive anxiety, as I would whisper to myself, “Feel the fear and do it anyway”. Then a day came when I easily did a brave thing. I had let courage become part of my nature. People who’ve met me later in life struggle to believe I wasn’t always this way. In some sense I had always had the courage to fight for what was right, but the training of myself for many years made bravery part of my skill-set I can call up at will.
The progression of life happens to all of us; moving toward good or ill is the only control we have over the process. I meet people all the time in need of peace and asking me for help. They have either not been exposed to the simple methods of making peace in one’s own life, or they have turned a blind eye to their opportunities in the past. A few weeks ago I was contacted by the family of a former student who needed my help. I immediately recalled the image of both parents who had yawned their way through a workshop they took with me about five years ago. The advice I gave them now, was the advice I offered all those years ago. Now these parents are willing to apply it with vigor and help their child heal from a series of events they could have avoided entirely.
This family is the norm in my experience as a practitioner of social- emotional education. We have some hierarchy in our culture that thinks intellect and bodies must be developed, but social skills and emotional well being are optional, or should naturally appear. But our body, mind, and emotions are forever intertwined. Each needs to be nourished and trained to work for the good of the others.
In my career I have watched those who were slow to start find a miraculous boost to their trajectory when their emotional intelligence was improved. The lessons we are advocating in Being 101 are not optional if you want a life of meaning and peace- and won’t trade one for the other.
