Valued Resources

In this modern age, scores of great books are published each year focused on a specific viewpoint, methodology, or practice. Too often a new book is promoted as THE thing most need rather than as a new thing of importance. This does a disservice to people searching for answers.

As we were gathering together information to help our students and their families, our great revelation wasn’t in determining which of these concepts was the ultimate, but to realize the connections and interdependency of an array of ideas, techniques, and strategies that worked with a variety of people.

The idea that there is one best way to parent, teach, or rehabilitate is ridiculous. Any person or institution that aligns with a single primary philosophy has limited the relevance of their work to the segment of the population in need of that particular approach.

Our list of resources is not exhaustive. Our quest to sample and refine ideas that work continues. Those elements we feature on this page were found in our practice to have the greatest relevance to a large portion of the people with whom we’ve worked.

The highlights below are some of the best ideas we garnered from others.

Steps of Emotional Literacy

  1. Become aware of my actions and the reactions I receive
  2. Know my emotion
  3. Manage my emotions
  4. Motivate myself (Start myself when I don’t want to start; Stop myself when I don’t want to stop)
  5. Notice the emotions of others
  6. Manage my relationships with others

The first four steps are focused on dealing with yourself, the last two are about relating to others. This is an excellent diagnostic tool when things have gone wrong. Pick up this list and use it to see which of these caused your train to leave the track.

Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen highlights dozens of strategies that strengthen and restore respectful relationships. In her book, based on concepts by Alfred Adler which were popularized by Rudolph Dreikurs, she describes the Four Misguided Goals of Misbehavior and how they show up in our lives when we are overwhelmed or discouraged. Think of these as the strategies we believe we need that actually work against us. It shouldn’t be too hard to find our self in one or more of these.

  • Seeking undue attention
  • Seeking power/control
  • Seeking revenge
  • Expressing Assumed Inadequacy

The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr- quickly divides the infinite tasks of a lifetime into two groups, thereby making life immediately more manageable.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Four Agreements

We present the Four Agreements, pioneered by Don Miguel Ruiz, as a must-read book. This method serves as a compass for our journey through life. One or more of the Four Agreements will apply to any difficulty you face and will give you the most direct route to peace that is available.

These are the Four Agreements you make with yourself:

  • Be Impeccable with Your Word
  • Don’t Take Anything Personally
  • Don’t Assume Anything
  • Always Do Your Best