Sticks & Stones and the Power of Words

The following post is this blog author’s musings on Don Miguel Ruiz’s First Agreement- “I am Impeccable with my Word”, as detailed in Ruiz’s book The Four Agreements .

“Sticks and Stones may break my bones,

But words will never hurt me.”

What is your reaction to this childhood rhyme? I remember all too well trying to muster this rehearsed phrase as a reply to taunts directed at me or others when I was a child, and it seemed to be a very impotent medicine in the field.

Although I will revisit this exact admonishment next week in the Take Nothing Personally lesson, today while we focus on the power of words we’re going to admit the truth every child knows: this advice is malarkey! Words are very powerful, especially the ones we agree with!

Here is an approximation of what Ruiz says about the power of words in his book The Four Agreements, chapter 2.

• Your word is the power that you have to create.
• It is through the word that you manifest everything.
• Depending on how it is used, the word can set you free or it can enslave you even more than you know.

To be wise with our power, we must recognize what a word truly is and imagine the darkness we tap into with certain words and the light of love we emit through other words, in what we utter and think. Ruiz calls these “spells” we cast for good or ill.

For readers who are Trekkies (fans of the Star Trek), I often think each of us is designed like the replicators built into each room throughout the SS Enterprise. In that fictional world, people can create anything they want or need by speaking into a machine in the wall that resembles a built-in ice maker in a modern refrigerator door. One of the characters often asks for a cup of Earl Grey tea… and voila, a steaming cup of tea appears.

Is it possible that we were designed to manifest our wants, needs, and visions as well? If you think this is possible, we must also realize that in coming into this realm most of us lost the user’s manual or even the memory of what we are capable of doing.

This is the how The First Agreement works: Words (seeds) + Agreements (soil)= creation of reality

Too many of us are stumbling around in the great Field of Life unaware of our true power. This truth is often lost on us since our power to manifest is diluted to some degree by virtue of the number of gardeners in the same field. But sometimes the seeds (words) we plant through prayers, whispers, or screams land in soil that cannot support their growth.

How we view possibilities and our own self-talk are key factors in the quality of our “soil”, which is the sum total of the things we’ve agreed to believe.

What agreements have you made about this world? Is this an “ideal, hospitable, nurturing” life or a tour duty through a war zone that is “difficult, hostile, and full of hard work”?

Here is an approximation of Ruiz’s statements about the quality of our “Soil” from chapter 2 of The Four Agreements:

• The human mind is like fertile ground where seeds are continually being planted. but only for those kinds of seeds it is prepared for.
• Whenever we hear an opinion and believe it, we make an agreement, and it becomes part of our belief system. These types of spells are difficult to break. The only thing that can “break a dark spell” is to make a new agreement based on truth.

As gardeners do with real soil, we must spiritually “test our soil” and replenish it according to what we discover. We prepare the soil of our heart and mind by what we agree with, by what we choose to believe. Out of this we create scenarios of “heaven on earth” or its opposite.

Being impeccable with our word begins by aligning our mind/outlook/perceptions with love and beauty— this is what prepares the soil to let seeds of love and beauty miraculous germinate. Our self-talk is where this becomes most apparent. To replenish our soil, we must be gracious and merciful with ourselves and others. We begin to look for the good in nature, in civilization, in people, and OUR SELF… and we continue to feed this awareness with good news.

Ready to seriously replenish your soil? Try absorbing 1 of these 3 powerful mindset shifts:

“We are all one & Every Person Matters.

Apply this to People who like you and to people who don’t… to the respectful and disrespectful, lovely and unlovely, to the clients who paid and the clients who didn’t pay…

There are No Enemies

Forfeit the “right to be offended” if you want to find real peace. Contemplate this in advance of a stressful situation arising. It doesn’t mean you are a doormat or tolerant of abuse, it simply means you are not expending energy or the drama of being offended.

It’s already okay; even if it isn’t yet apparent.

No matter what is troubling you in this moment, one way or another it will be resolved in ways you can’t yet imagine. Use this as a mantra to restore calm, to ease up on reacting/solving, and to return to trusting as swiftly as possible.

Once we’ve done the hard work of rebuilding the health of our soil (agreements we can believe in), we can tune into the quality of the seeds we will plant by learning to take care in choosing the specific words we speak or think. Ruiz reminds us how far off-track we might be:

• But making this agreement to be impeccable with our word is difficult because we have learned to do precisely the opposite. We have learned to lie as a habit of our communication with others and more importantly with ourselves.
• The power of the word is completely misused. We use the word to curse, to blame, to find guilt, to destroy. Of course, we also use it in the right way, but not too often.
• We use the word to spread our personal poison– to express anger, jealousy, envy, and hate. The word is pure magic– most powerful gift we have as humans– and we use it against ourselves. We plan revenge. We create chaos with the word.

Think of  Life as a major contact sport  played with words instead of a ball or puck. There are certain rules that make the game better and safer. To be truly sporting we must avoid the following fouls in our words and thoughts when playing the Game of Life:

Let’s focus on gossip as the first foul to eliminate. Ruiz turns special attention on the use of gossip:

• Looking at everyday human interaction, imagine how many times we cast spells on each other with our word. Over time, this interaction has become the worst form of black magic, and we call it gossip.
• When we were children, we heard people around us gossiping all the time, openly giving their opinions about other people. They even had opinions about people they didn’t know.
• Emotional poison was transferred along with the opinions, and we learned this as the normal way to communicate.
• Gossiping has become the main form of communication in human society. It has become the way we feel close to each other.

When you are deciding what to say, remember silence is an option. Run your choice of words through one of the sieves recommended below and let only what is impeccable be uttered or applied to yourself through your inner dialogue.

Philippians 4:8  “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

Or use the Character Square as a guide: if a word doesn’t comply with all four attributes it doesn’t need to be uttered by you.

Final words on the topic from Don Miguel Ruiz, excerpted from chapter 2 of The Four Agreements

• You can measure the impact ability of your word by your level of self-love. How much you love yourself and how you feel about yourself are directly proportionate to the quality and integrity of your word. When you are impeccable with your word, you feel good; you feel happy and at peace.
• You can transcend the dream of hell just by making the right agreement to be impeccable with your word. Right now, the author is planting that seed in your mind. Whether or not the seed grows depends upon how fertile your mind is for the seeds of love. It is up to you to make this agreement with yourself: I am impeccable with my word.
• Just imagine what you can create with the impeccability of your word. With the impeccability of the word you can transcend the dream of fear and live a different life.

Make note of what tingled for you today. That may be your personal assignment from the “Powers that Be”. To consider the quality of your soil/your agreements, assess your belief about your power. Which of these descriptions best expresses your mindset?

1. Que Sera, Sera– I have virtually no control in this existence except my response to events.
2. I have things I want or need manifested sometimes but have no idea of the rhyme or reason behind it.
3. If I am really, really good then I get what I want or need
4. I can ask for what I want and need and expect to receive it; but sometimes the answer is no.
5. I am welcomed as an amazing co-creator in this universe to respectfully call things “that are not, as though they be” and often see them appear.

If you don’t like what this reveals about your mindset… begin to change it today.

Your agreements are always your choice!

This material was recently presented in the FREE weekly Well Being 101 Meetup Group, https://www.meetup.com/Well-Being-101/ via Zoom. You are welcome to join us each Tuesday at noon EDT as we explore the many basic tools of Being 101 in the coming weeks.

The Fouls listed above were gleaned from the wonderful work presented by www.peaceeducation.org.