A strong sense of Well-Being isn’t accidental. We get what we work for. Here’s a quick Well-Being diagnostic for you to run on these six areas of your life so see where you want to get stronger.
Balance
Do you regularly hold two very different ideas in your mind or heart at the same time and not have to ditch one of them to keep things simple or peaceful?
People who can do this build their emotional and psychological strength. Some Native American tribes felt they hadn’t really done their work in facing a fresh challenge until they had thought of 7 different ways of handling it. Try that some time. I have for years and have never come up with the full seven unique strategies. But this exercise makes me squawk less about having to hold two competing emotion or ideas at a time.
Do you give equal weight to the needs of your body, soul, and spirit?
Most of us don’t attend to each of the three evenly. So, which one has been given too much care, and which too little? Consider making a slight adjustment here. Baby steps ensures you will stick to it and your strong sense of well-being increases.
Gratitude
When you express gratitude what does it look like and sound like?
Do you offer up prayers of thanksgiving? Do you send thank you notes? Do you make next day calls after being someone’s guest? Do you send a text when you’ve received a kindness? Acknowledgement isn’t required, but it completes the circle of receiving a blessing.
Passing on the love to another is also a way to honor what you’ve been given. For some people a portion of what they earn is set aside to care for others. Some dedicate an amount of time to volunteer their talents. Be inspired to let the love vibe continue uninterrupted as it passes through you and onto others.
How do you keep track of your gratitude?
Stay conscious of your blessings to improve your outlook on life. People who do this increase their positive expectations. You can make a small or large entry in a journal, daily or sporadically. Something is better than nothing. A friend kept a large jar in her kitchen one year to collect her gratitude. She would write what she was grateful for on a slip of paper and date it, then pop it in the jar. At the end of the year, she took them all out and read all of the wonder of the previous year. This jar was a regular reminder that goodness was coming her way and she could watch them accumulate.
In this mobile age for souls on the go, who always have a device nearby, you may want to use an app. Here is a link for nine options. The important thing we gain from this practice is that looking for the good in situations, people, and yourself becomes habitual. What you seek, you find.
Perspective
What is the worst thing and the best thing you are currently experiencing?
My closest friends and I ask ourselves this when we meet in person or for long-distance Zoom visits. With one sentence for the worst and one sentence for the best we quickly reveal our emotional bookends so we know “where” one another is in the emotional spectrum. This easily lets us see where our conversation should go and to whom most of out attention should be dedicated. Frequently doing this privately for your own purpose will also connect you with important perspective. Summing it up in one sentence is key to getting to the heart of things.
How realistic is my expectation of myself and or others?
We’re designed to meet goals. If our bar is set too high, we never get the satisfaction of a job well done. Breaking things down into more realistic smaller goals can help us make our way to the top by letting us get the doses of encouragement that come with accomplishment. Also consider this on behalf of others who are influenced by your standards. Give them a chance to achieve, by making the goals realistic.
Self-Care
In your life, where is the proof that you matter?
Are you well nourished, hydrated, rested, attired, equipped, prepared? If not, why not? To make a journey an automobile requires gas in the tank, oil in the engine, four solid tires, and so on. A diagnostic starting point in self-care is figuring out if deficits are the result of limited resources or lack of self-regard. The truth is every person matters, including you. We don’t get to achieve our glorious possibilities without you achieving yours. Let self-love flourish, even if you are only planting the seed of it today.
Where do you fit in the hierarchy of what gets tended to?
Sometimes the glitch in self-care is that there are too many horses trying to get to the trough at the same time. This is often a problem for the natural caretakers in our midst. Life often asks you to care for the elderly and the youth at the same time. It is easy to slip down the list of priorities and find yourself resting at the bottom of the heap.
First, notice the difference between want and need, between essentials and luxuries, between important and urgent, to see if you can reduce what you are asking of yourself in the care of others. Also, be certain that your NEEDS are being met before you fulfill the WANTS of others. The airline admonishment to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on a dependent traveling with you, is a reality check. If you don’t follow the proper order in self-care, you may not last to give the love and care others need and want.
Solitude
How often are you psychologically and emotionally still?
People familiar with meditation understand that is both restorative and creative. Most religions have sacred verses that point to the value of solitude and stillness. In whatever dose you can manage it, begin to give yourself a few more quiet moments of solitude than what you are currently enjoying. I walk labyrinths as part of my spiritual experience. Even if others are sharing the space with me, we are each alone in our own steps. So, a person can be in solitude alongside others on a busy city street. If that is all the current lifestyle allows, begin there in your consciousness. But do treat yourself to quiet moments unplugged. Each time possible, allow nature to offer her encouragement to you to build your sense of well-being.
“There’s a difference between stillness and doing nothing.” Jackie Chan
Connection
Are you willing to be an ingredient in someone else’s recipe?
I am fully convinced that every person matters. Sometimes an experience is about me, sometimes it is about you. I let myself be altered by this. I matter only as much as I allow others to matter. When I give my precious time, my emotional energy, my physical energy I am conveying the worth of another.
How inclusive will you be?
The miracles of life come when someone loves the “unlovely”, takes time to encourage the “undeserving”, or forgives before anyone has apologized. Everyone wants to experience miracles because it is thrilling and sustains our inner hope for a world of peace and justice. Nothing stops us from giving the miraculous experience to those around us who have been rejected, overlooked, shunned, forgotten. Will it complicate your life? Yes. Do it anyway, each time you have the strength to do so.
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi
This material was offered via Zoom in a Free monthly Well Being 101 class. If this message offered helpful material for you, please feel free to join us for upcoming sessions.
