Traveling Lighter in this New Decade

Let’s jettison three toxic things in this fresh decade: Shame, Blame, and Cynicism.

These are lead weights in our soul’s backpack that will fatigue us and may prevent us from reaching our dreams.

Shame is the only emotional state that has no redeeming value. Please note, it is inferior to guilt, which leads to taking responsibility and making amends. Shame, on the other hand, paralyzes anyone it strikes.

Many people resort to using shame on others, but it is a bludgeon the impotent pick up to strike their opposition. Healthy people don’t want to shame others; they want to solve problems, not perpetuate them. Shame often makes our ill tendencies go underground where they flourish like a mushroom colony.

The remedy for shame is grace and mercy. Resist shame when it is offered to you. If there is truth to what is being presented, go directly to guilt and face the music- but bypass the shame process. For the same reason, resist the temptation to use shame on others or yourself.

Blame is shame’s cousin. It misdirects our energy that is better focused on problem-solving. Blame also reinforces a mindset that wants to punish as part of its “solution” rather than getting straight to the necessary healing or redirection that is needed. Eject Blame from your skill set and you will regain an enormous amount of time and energy to live life and solve its problems. It is a habit in most of us, so allow a patient amount of time to get good at resisting it. To aid others, do not overreact to blame when it is sent your way with or without good cause. Accept responsibility with dignity and move on.

Cynicism is a lesson learned wrongly that sprouts from the fatigue of broken-heartedness when hopes are disappointed- again and again. Sarcasm is its secret language. Cynics have an immature relationship with hope. They thought hope was guaranteeing an outcome and didn’t realize it was a brave state of mind that scours the horizon for possibilities to nurture.

Cynicism clutters up the runway of real possibilities and sucks the oxygen from the think tank where the necessary dreaming and planning take place for an improved future. If this describes you, rescind your membership in this club of nay-sayers. It is never foolish to hope while rolling up your sleeves to do the real work of change.

Ridding ourselves of these three impediments will let us direct our life energy toward the experiences, relationships, and dreams we value most. In this way, we’ll wisely journey through this amazing decade of promise.